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Dysfunky.orgMy name is John and I come from a very dysfunctional family including criminals, addicts and some plain old weirdos. My family tree includes two alcoholic grandparents and an alcoholic father and brother. I have an uncle in prison serving a life sentence for murder and another uncle that was murdered while robbing a drug store. My family does not do ancestry.com.

My earliest memories include my father exploding into a drunken rage and throwing his dinner across the kitchen. Afterwards, while sporting a black eye, my mother would deny anything was wrong. There was always drama in our home and it was not a safe place to grow up.

Thankfully I found ACA and other support groups to help me let go of the past and move forward.

I’ve wanted to create a magazine style website for many years but never had the courage to follow through on the idea. This website (Dysfunky.org) is my attempt to express myself creatively with humor and care in hopes of helping others who have grown up in a dysfunctional family.

I highly recommend you go to a support group meeting if you have never been. The care and acceptance found at a 12 step meeting may just change your life. My preference is ACA meetings.

Feel free to send me messages or any suggestions on the contact page.

God Bless You,
John

Self Sabatage

Self Sabatage

>Those of us who sabotage ourselves usually do so because we believe it will in some way provide a certain level or amount of control in one way or another. This control can usually be related to our inability to succeed in one area of our lives. We may have beliefs that tell us that […]

The ACA Mingus Mountain Retreat

The ACA Mingus Mountain Retreat

Please join us for our 28th year on Mingus Mountain for the annual ACA Retreat. A wonderful blend of fun and recovery at 7600 ft. elevation, in the mountains of northern Arizona. All ACA’s are welcome. Read more about the retreat here. http://aca-arizona.org/retreat/

Frustrated with Verizon Wireless

Frustrated with Verizon Wireless

How much incompetence can one company have in their customer service department?

How Adult Children of Alcoholics Can Relieve Anxiety Through Journaling

How Adult Children of Alcoholics Can Relieve Anxiety Through Journaling

By simply taking a few minutes to sit down and write about your feelings each day, you can reduce effects of anxiety and help to lessen the frequency and severity of panic attacks, which are the result of negative thoughts and emotions.

Positive Affirmations to Help You Think Better

Positive Affirmations to Help You Think Better

When you grew up in a dysfunctional family you have to take steps to change your old patterns of thinking and positive affirmations have helped me a lot.

CODA – Co-Dependents Anonymous

CODA – Co-Dependents Anonymous

Codependents Anonymous is a 12 Step support group program whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.

Change Your Life By Changing Your Thoughts

Change Your Life By Changing Your Thoughts

By allowing the strongholds from your dysfunctional family to play a role in the way you think today empowers them.

Dysfunctional Families are Like Serving in the Military

Dysfunctional Families are Like Serving in the Military

When soldiers are sent off to war they are devoid of all feelings and emotions in order to survive the ordeal that they are going through. For a co-dependent person this is often the case as well.

Understanding The Benefits Of Al-Anon

Understanding The Benefits Of Al-Anon

Al-Anon is a 12-step support group that was founded on the principles of people supporting each other in regards to dealing with problem drinkers.

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon

I pray to remember, every day, every hour, and especially in times of crisis, that hostile behavior on my part will only add fuel to a fire that could destroy us both

Melody Beattie – Queen of Codependency

Melody Beattie – Queen of Codependency

Melody Beattie is the bestselling author of “Co-Dependent No More” which was published in 1986. Since that time Melody has gone on to become one of America’s most loved self help and recovery authors.

America’s Addiction to Tim Tebow

America’s Addiction to Tim Tebow

Just mentioning the name Tim Tebow sparks an intense debate these days. He is one of those rare athletes who has the cache to not only make news on the sports pages of your local newspaper, but the front page as well.

Anxiety is Normal For Adult Children of Alcoholics

Anxiety is Normal For Adult Children of Alcoholics

Growing up hearing words of hurt instead of positive affirmations can greatly affect ones view of themselves as well as the rest of the world.

How Anxiety Can Change Your Life

How Anxiety Can Change Your Life

Anxiety can prevent you from reaching your goals and dreams because the fear it produces essentially takes over your life from the inside out.

5 Steps That Helped Me Avoid Relapsing

5 Steps That Helped Me Avoid Relapsing

Recovery is a learning process and it is key to be proud of yourself for making the right choice and for wanting to make a positive change.

Family Dysfunction NOT Erectile Dysfunction!

Family Dysfunction NOT Erectile Dysfunction!

Dysfunky.org is about Family Dysfunction NOT Erectile Dysfunction!

Most Dysfunky Craigslist Post

Most Dysfunky Craigslist Post

Are you ready for the “Zombie Apocalypse”

Featured Business Recovery Comedy

Featured Business Recovery Comedy

Recovery Comedy comedians share their stories of recovery in a funny way that others can relate to. When someone can find the humor in something that was once very painful that is a sign that real healing has taken place.

Are you Dysfunky? Take the Quiz

Are you Dysfunky? Take the Quiz

Were you affected by a dysfunctional family?

If Shakespeare Were an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

If Shakespeare Were an Adult Child of an Alcoholic

We, alcoholics’ adult children, are
Not alone; together we can stand tall.
Many of us have grown and come quite far
From the circumstance that unites us all.

What is Co-Dependency?

What is Co-Dependency?

Co-dependency is a condition that many people from dysfunctional families develop when they are children. Co-dependency is a dysfunction that stems from focusing on the needs and behaviors of others while neglecting their own needs and inner child.

Featured Artist Jessica Packer

Featured Artist Jessica Packer

Jessica Packer is a talented artist dedicated to dealing with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Crohn’s Disease, and trying to show others who do not have either a way to understand the diseases without actually experiencing it themselves.

Healing the Child Within by Dr. Charles L. Whitfield M.D.

Healing the Child Within by Dr. Charles L. Whitfield M.D.

“Healing the Child Within”… I can honestly say that this book changed my life in a very profound way.

Featured Artist Donald Martin

Featured Artist Donald Martin

Dysfunky.org welcomes our newest featured artist Donald Martin.
Type of Art: Painting and Sculpture

What is the Inner Child?

What is the Inner Child?

Everyone to one degree or another learns to stifle or repress their inner child with the help of our parents, teachers, pastors, peers or even psychologists.

Why Do I Repress My Feelings?

Why Do I Repress My Feelings?

Do you ever repress your feelings? Do you have a high threshold for pain? Tell people you’re ok when you really aren’t? I completely understand.

What If Arnold Attended an ACA Meeting?

What If Arnold Attended an ACA Meeting?

What if Arnold attended an ACA meeting and welcomed everyone to the group. What would it sound like?

How a Negative Self Image Starts

How a Negative Self Image Starts

Children who grow up in alcoholic or other types of dysfunctional homes are in a regular state of insecurity starting as infants

What Makes a Family a Dysfunctional Family?

What Makes a Family a Dysfunctional Family?

Respect is only one of the principles that make a family functional and healthy. It’s the foundation for so many other principles such as accountability, freedom to express your feelings, and clear boundaries. Without respect in the home it is unlikely that a child can grow up to be a healthy and whole person who respects themselves and others.

Dysfunctional Family Roles

Dysfunctional Family Roles

There are four basic roles that children take on in order to survive growing up in emotionally dishonest, shame-based, dysfunctional families. Hero, Scapegoat, Mascot, Invisible.

ACA’s are everywhere!

ACA’s are everywhere!

You can find ACA’s everywhere. Even on Twitter.

Writers Block

Writers Block

Writers block showed up to my office today and I couldn’t get rid of him.

I always feel accepted at 12 Step meetings

I always feel accepted at 12 Step meetings

What can you expect the first time you attend a 12 Step support group meeting?

Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers?

Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers?

Why aren’t people in recovery good dancers?
Click to find out.

Never go to bed angry?

Never go to bed angry?

The Holy Bible proclaims in the book of Ephesians “Don’t go to bed angry”. This is sound advice for couples and individuals everywhere. Going to bed angry can keep you from sleeping and impact your overall health and well being. But things are a bit different inside a dysfunctional family. Generally the bedtime rule is […]

Featured Artist Sissy Jeschke

Featured Artist Sissy Jeschke

Sissy Jeschke is a furniture artist who takes discarded items, repurposes and transforms them.

Bad idea for a website

Bad idea for a website

My mother is the daughter of two alcoholics who was not taught how to communicate effectively with other people. As an adult I see this as sad and tragic. As a child and young adult I saw it as a torturous battle every day of my life. After one of our 77 gazillion arguments I […]

Children do as they see

Children do as they see

Growing up in a dysfunctional home I often saw things that did not make sense. My parents fighting violently and screaming the most awful things was normal behavior in our home. This video from YouTube is powerful and difficult to watch. It depicts how children learn to be dysfunctional from their parents actions. The hardest […]

My core belief was a lie

My core belief was a lie

By the time I reached 30 I truly believed beyond all reason that I was a complete failure because I couldn’t fix my family.

Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year 2012

Happy New Year! If you are spending this New Years Eve away from your dysfunctional family CHEERS! It may be lonely and we may gain a few pounds but its better to be out of that dysfunctional system. May 2012 be the best year of your life!

Most Dysfunctional Domain 2011 – RecoveryIsSexy.com

Most Dysfunctional Domain 2011 – RecoveryIsSexy.com

RecoveryIsSexy.com is officially the most dysfunctional domain name on the internet for 2011!
Are you kidding me? Have you ever seen someone in recovery?

Victim Mentality and People Pleasing

Victim Mentality and People Pleasing

We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we stood up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

Featured Artist Ms. Renda

Featured Artist Ms. Renda

Meet our new featured artist Ms. Renda.

Type of art: Painting, Sculpting, Drawing, Graphic Design

Featured Artist Alex Temple

Featured Artist Alex Temple

Alex Temple is an artist and successful student with a 2011 BFA with Honors from Rhode Island School of Design. In his piece B A P T I S M: a piano recital by alex temple he destroys a piano!

Rejected by Walmart

Rejected by Walmart

I am not ashamed to say I Love Walmart! Walmart is certainly a company that I can pitch for. But to my shock and dismay Walmart rejected me.

What every adult child of a dysfunctional family thinks

What every adult child of a dysfunctional family thinks

When you come from a dysfunctional family you always want to fix your family. You imagine that if you say the right thing, or do the right thing maybe they will change and treat you the way you want. The next logical step in this thought process is to become a therapist.

We learned that lying works better than telling the truth

We learned that lying works better than telling the truth

Lying becomes a way of surviving in a dysfunctional home

Handicapped Reindeer Car at the Hospital

Handicapped Reindeer Car at the Hospital

What the heck is going on with all the Reindeer cars needing medical attention?

Right Turn Live! –  for sober performers

Right Turn Live! – for sober performers

Right Turn is a welcoming place where people in recovery can experience a sense of purpose and belonging. They also host Right Turn Live! – A clean & sober performance space.

If you have never made a mistake then it means you have never tried something new.

If you have never made a mistake then it means you have never tried something new.

If ever there were a truer statement I have not read it yet. When my life is working correctly and I am thriving as a healthy person I tend to have mistakes all over the place. It’s because I am focused on doing stuff instead of what others are thinking about me and what I’m […]

Start a free WordPress.com blog first

Start a free WordPress.com blog first

The quickest and easiest way to start a website or blog is to sign up at WordPress.com for their free blog service. It’s the best blogging software in the world and they provide you with an excellent resource to get a blog started. I use the same software when developing my own websites or for […]

Get a Domain Name

Get a Domain Name

Before you can have a professional website you need your own domain name. The most popular of course is .COM website but if your desired website address is already taken like DYSFUNKY.com!!! then you will have to come up with another name or use a different domain extension like .NET or .ORG or maybe even […]

Inspiration and Affirmations

Inspiration and Affirmations

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family there is a good chance that you think dysfunctional thoughts all the time. Critical self talk and a perfectionist attitude can become your worst enemy and lead to depression and isolation. So many self help guru’s say over and over that if you want to change your […]

How to start getting help

How to start getting help

If you can relate to the traits listed in the Laundry List then its time to get some help. I know how overwhelming it can feel but I really encourage you to start the recovery process. You are totally worth it!

Are you alone on Christmas?

Are you alone on Christmas?

If you are alone this Christmas because your family is nuts and you have decided not to play along with the 2011 edition of family dysfunction I applaud you! I know it is hard being alone during the holidays but its so much better to be alone than with dysfunctional family.

Children need good role models

Children need good role models

The video below is a clip from Dr. John Bradshaw, Bradshaw On: Homecoming…Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child. I’m a big fan of Dr. Bradshaw and his work has helped me a lot. One of the first things he says is that child need good role models in the home for how to act and […]

Laundry List Trait 3

Laundry List Trait 3

We are frightened of angry people and any personal criticism.

The Laundry List

The Laundry List

The following list are some characteristics we have in common from being brought up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional household. It can be very hard to read the Laundry List and admit that we have these defects in our character. But it’s often said that the first step is admitting you have a problem. The […]

PTSD

PTSD

PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is a debilitating condition that follows a terrifying event. Usually, people with PTSD have reoccurring frightening thoughts and memories of their ordeal. PTSD, once referred to as shell shock or battle fatigue, was first brought to public attention by war veterans, but it can result from any […]

I’m not crying.

I’m not crying.

Did you ever get the feeling that you were crazy when talking with your family? Living in a dysfunctional family can be like living in an alter universe where nothing makes sense and everyone else seems to know what is really going on. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Everything is fine…

Everything is fine…

Laying in bed trying desperately to stay awake while listening for any sound of him coming home. I would often wait up for my father to come home. Sometimes I’d force myself to stay awake past midnight into the early morning. You see, I was not waiting for him to come home because I loved […]

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

It is no exaggeration to say this was the most helpful self-help book i’ve ever encountered. For a long time I was always a seeker but could never get to the bottom of the “soul sickness” I felt within my deepest sense of self. I was operating under the general theory my soul had been stolen from me in my early childhood.

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